


Gears

by onychophoran (batty42)



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Alchemy, Alternate Universe, M/M, Robots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-17
Updated: 2010-12-17
Packaged: 2017-10-13 17:53:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/140055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/batty42/pseuds/onychophoran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where in Charles is really a robot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was Charles' quarterly visit to Dr. Wickram. Since the untimely death of his father, Dr. Offdensen, Dr. Wickram had taken over Charles' little checkups.

Charles was laid out on the examination table, waiting to hear the damage report.

"You've been drinking again." Dr. Wickram smiled encouragingly down at Charles. Charles hadn't drunk since that one disastrous incident after Dr. Offdensen death.

"Is that a problem?" Charles didn't really like discussing his personal life but if his father had trusted Dr. Wickram to look after him, then Charles would just have to try to trust him too.

"No, no. It's good to see you enjoying yourself. A little liquor never hurt anyone."

Charles scoffed derisively. "Dethklok doesn't know the meaning of a little liquor."

It pained the doctor to see Charles so jaded. Charles hadn't been a particularly happy person, at least not for a long time, but it had gotten worse since his father's demise. He didn't laugh any more. All he ever heard were mirthless outbursts at derisive black humor. If it weren't for the band he'd run off with, Dr. Wickram would have sworn Charles had forgotten how to smile. But through the stony faced gloom, recounts of Dethklok's antics would occasionally bring forth the ghost of a smile.

"Well, if you like, I can make it so that even large amounts of alcohol will be no problem."

"I suppose that's for the best, wouldn't want them to get suspicious." It was meant to be a joke but Charles said it with such great self loathing that the doctor couldn't bring himself to even smile in response.

Dr. Wickram cracked back open the panel concealing the inner workings of Charles' chest. No longer covered by the artificial flesh Charles could hear the faint whizzing of gears that stood in for a heartbeat. Dr. Wickram rooted around till he found the ingenious bit of machinery that allowed Charles to consume alcohol. Switching out the old converter for a new one of his own invention he closed Charles back up. When the panel was snapped back into place the doctor gave the artificial skin a loving pat before stepping back. He didn't think of Charles as a son, like Charles's creator, Dr. Offdensen had, but he still thought of Charles as family. Like a nephew or a younger brother. Which was ridiculous as Charles had been around longer than him. Which reminded him.

"You have a birthday coming up." Still sitting on the table, Charles froze in the middle of buttoning up his shirt. "You should do something to celebrate. Not many people get to see their hundred and twenty third."

That was another sore point for Charles. "Yes, well as far as the rest of the world is concerned I'm only turning forty something."

Dr. Wickram moved to sit next to a now fully clothed Charles on the examination table. "They care about you, you know. I'm sure your father wouldn't mind if you let a few more people in on the secret."

Charles shrugged off the arm and the comfort. "He wasn't my father," he said bitterly. "I don't have a father, I wasn't born. I don't even have a birthday, just the anniversary of the day I was made."

Dr. Wickram tried again to put a comforting arm around Charles. "He may not have given birth to you in the conventional sense, but he gave you life and he loved you like a son."

Charles bit back a retort. Even now he couldn't bring himself to speak ill of the old man. It was true that, for whatever reason, he'd loved Charles.

"More like one would love a toaster. How could he love me, I'm not human."

Charles finally accepted the comforting embrace. Dr. Wickram had been his father's apprentice and successor and Charles regarded him as almost family. Not that a robot like him deserved any family.

Burying his head in the comforting shoulder he might have let a few tears escape except he had had those ducts closed off years ago. They served no propose save make him appear more human. Charles didn't like to forget that he wasn't.

"Hey, that's not true he loved you very much and you loved him too."

Charles spoke with his face buried in Dr. Wickram's lab coat. It was one of his father's old coats, Charles could tell. It still smelled faintly of his father's favorite tobacco, a scent forever etched into his memory banks. No matter how many times it was washed, the sent still lingered. "I'm just a machine, I can't love anybody."

This was a familiar argument. They'd been having it even before Dr. Offdensen died. "I can tell you loved him from how badly his death affected you. You went on a bender and wound up managing a death metal band. If that's not morning, what is it?"

Charles detached from the doctor's shoulder to give another ghost smile at some fond memory of the band. "They never asked me why I looked so grim. Nathan used to say I looked like the right had of death himself every time I wound up in a publicity shot."

Charles stood up then and adjusted his tie. Dr. Wickram stood up too and spoke in a businesslike manner. "Everything seems to be in working order. You should be good till your next check up, but don't hesitate to call if there is a problem before then."

Charles collected his suit jacket and cell phone from a side table. Forty nine messages and he'd only been gone for a few hours.

"Would you consider installing a blue tooth directly into my main processor next time?"

Dr. Wickram chuckled. "Oh Charles, you know all this new fangled technology isn't compatible with your clock work system."

Charles sighed as he read through the missed call list. "I know, but it was worth asking."

As Charles ran off to answer an important missed call, Dr. Wickram sat down at his work bench. Now that Charles was gone he let the weight of his concern show on his face. It pained him to see Charles so very withdrawn. When they'd first met, years ago, he had been light and happy and had never once complained about what he was. Then again he hadn't thought of himself as a robot back then. He had just been Dr. Offdensen's beloved project and son. It was years before anyone had mentioned the word robot to him and even longer before Charles had begun using the word in association with himself. Dr. Wickram supposed that 'robot' would be the appropriate word for what he was, but that was not what Dr. Offdensen had called him when he had created him in the late 1800's. Dr. Offdensen had called him the first alchemic-mechanical human. Dr. Offdensen had been one of the last great alchemic masters, able to perform impossible feats with bits of metal and a few ancient runes. Charles had been one of his greatest achievements. A mix of ancient alchemy with modern, at the time, technology to create a living being capable of thought and movement and speech. His other great invention had been the technology that kept first the doctor and later his apprentice alive long past their expiration date. Dr. Wickram had been born in 1908. He didn't look a day over forty.

Dr. Wickram had learned all the secrets of Dr. Offdensen's trade but had never built another human. He couldn't bear the thought of creating another being that would share Charles' pain. So instead he stuck to making mechanical pets and keeping Charles it tiptop shape. Dr. Offdensen would have wanted his son to be well cared for.

Charles came home and dealt with all forty-nine crises from during his absence. Most of them were from the band members. They were out of Popsicles, Pickles said I was ugly, William won't stop stabbing me. Charles felt a bit like some kind of robot nanny which was at least a little funny, until William had said it.

Through a carefully calibrated system of fluids, Charles turned a pale gray at the dreaded nickname. Most days he could take it with the same bland indifference he took most of Dethklok's antics, but not today. Not with the painful memories of his deceased father and his condition so fresh in his mind. Not right after a visit to his mechanic.

Charles turned on his heels and marched out the door shouting his catch phrase as he let the door slam. "FOR THE RECORD, I TRIED!"

He went he went back to his office to silently fume while he finished up some paper work. Unexpectedly there was a knock on his door half an hour later. Without even waiting for a 'come in' Nathan entered. Charles was just surprised he'd knocked in the first place.

"What is it?" he said testily as he paper clipped a finished document to be photocopied in triplicate later.

Nathan shuffled his feet nervously. That got Charles' attention, Nathan was never normally nervous. Charles put down the paper work and truly looked at Nathan.

"I'm err... I'm sor... Shit I should have made Murderface do this. He's an ass and we don't mean it when we call you robot. I didn't want your feelings hurt by something that jack-ass said."

That was really sweet. It brought a robotic ghost smile to his lips. Nathan almost blushed at the half smile but averted his eyes from the hypnotic pull at the last moment. "Err, we know you're not a robot. That would be stupid."

That was not the right thing to say. The stony frown was back before Nathan had even finished speaking.

Charles busied himself once more with the paperwork. "Yes, well if there is nothing else I uh, have work to do." The defection was delivered in his characteristic robotic monotone.

Nathan turned back reluctantly. Every time he thought he was getting through that robotic mask, Charles would deflect and the mask would go right back on. The man had more emotional walls than Murderface, and that was saying something. Nathan left the room reluctantly. Some day he was going to get him to drop that robotic act long enough to figure out how the other man really felt.


	2. Chapter 2

Months had passed. Charles wouldn't even have noticed except that his next check up was coming up. That was how he realized it had been almost three months since they last called him robot. Not to say that they'd been polite to him. He was still butler or dildo or buzz kill, just not robot. What was going on? Normally Charles could smell a plot by the boys a mile off. He had an exceptionally sensitive nose. His father had taken him to Holland before the war, the Great War not the rerun, and he'd wanted him to be able to truly appreciate the tulips. But he'd not had an inkling of a plot, no suspicion of what had brought on this change. Well, that's not completely true, he had an idea who to ask.

Charles went off in search of the front man and almost leader. He found him in the living room with Toki, trying to work out the rules to yahtzee when you had no dice and a lot of empty beer cans. Charles stood in front of them with his hands on his hips.

"Alright, what are you boys up to?"

They both looked up from their serious work stabbing holes in beer cans.

"Nothing," explained Nathan. "Toki's never played yahtzee before but we couldn't find any dice."

"That's not what I meant. It's uh, been three months since any of you called me robot."

A cold look of dread passed over Nathan's face. Toki looked excited and jumped right into an explanation. "Is ams because Nathans say he kills next one who's what's say it to you."

Charles didn't know what to say to that. If he had been a typical robot now would have been an excellent time to break out a 'does not compute'.

Toki could see the confusion on Charles face and further explained. "He ams say it what makes you nots the happy and he not wants you to ams nots the happy be because he-"

Nathan had recovered his senses enough to slap a hand over Toki's mouth, the only 100% effective way to get him to stop talking. Nathan growled in a way that seemed to mean, 'well, that's enough of that'.

Charles didn't really know what to say. Toki seemed to get some unspoken hint from Nathan and he gathered up a hand full of marked beer cans and ran off without a word.

Nathan look as bashful as six foot something Specter of Death could manage and blurted out, "I know we can be dildos some times (all the time) and I didn't want you to get so pissed you leave and find a less dildo band."

"Nathan, I'm not going to leave Dethklok. Where else would I go?"

Nathan shuffled nervously, stood up, then sat back down. "I may have had another reason to want you not pissed off..." Charles couldn't figure out that might be. Nathan got back up, determined this time. He walked over to where Charles was standing. "I've been wanting to do this forever, but you're just always in a bad mood and any way, here it goes." before Charles could react Nathan bent his head down and kissed him. Charles had never before appreciated what delicate work his father had done on his sensory feedback loop. He could feel the heat from Nathan's lips. The increase in pressure as Nathan pulled him closer. The electric tingle wherever skin touched artificial skin. Charles closed his eyes and enjoyed his very first kiss ever. He put his arms around Nathan's neck and pulled them close until he could feel the other man's heart beat. Right, human, not human. Well, damn. That was a buzz kill.

Charles detached and pushed Nathan away. "We can't do this." Charles said, trying to put the robotic mask back on.

"Why not?" growled Nathan. He was ready for a characteristic response. We work together. It could mess with the band. You're dumb and ugly. But none of that came.

Charles was instead still starring mutely at Nathan, suddenly at a loss for words. Nathan took advantage of his slack jawed state and pulled him back in for another kiss. Again Charles seemed to respond until something panicked him. He pulled back, desperate to be free of Nathan's tight embrace.

"This isn't right, you don't know anything about me!"

That wasn't one of the objections Nathan had been expecting. They'd been living in the same house for years. Even before that, they'd see each other every day. Nathan liked to think he'd been paying at least a little bit of attention. Like, he knew that Charles often forgot to eat if no one reminded him. He was obsessed with his health and he visited his doctor every three months like clockwork. And for some reason of all the stupid shit the band called him, robot was the only name that really bothered him. See, Nathan knew stuff about Charles. He tried to articulate this less than intimate knowledge of the inner workings of Mr. Charles F. Ofdensen, but all that came out was a dumb sounding "um". stupid, stupid. His brain wasn't dumb it was his mouth that screwed all this shit up.

Charles took advantage of the time Nathan was distracted berating himself to escape.

Well damn, thought Nathan. What could he be missing? Charles seemed to have been into the kiss before something made him pull back. What could he not know that would make such a big difference?

If there was something he didn't know about Charles, Nathan was determined to figure it out. He considered recruiting the rest of his band mates to help him out but what if Charles' secret was embarrassing? Charles wasn't likely to sleep with the dolt that told the whole world he was a post-op transvestite, if that was his secret, and Nathan wanted to keep that door open. Still it would be pretty sweet if that turned out to be the secret. Maybe he had lady parts along with man parts like all that freaky Japanese porn on the interwebs. Or maybe he was like a vampire or something, and that was why he didn't eat. That would be pretty damn metal. But what if his secret wasn't cool but in fact sucky? Like maybe Charles was really married and he had a secret wife and kids he visited when nobody was looking. It seemed unlikely, but so did summoning a troll until you did it.

Guessing wasn't doing him any good. Nathan was just going to have to follow his every move until Charles revealed that extra vestigial limb or whatever. Or he could ask him. They were almost friends, in so much as death metal gods and ninja lawyers could be friends. Charles might tell him if he asked out right. But where was the fun in that?

So instead he took to skulking outside of Charles' office and keeping tabs on his every move. At first it was easy. Charles didn't really do much beside sit at his desk and take phone calls. Sometimes he met with Klokateers to discuss Mordhaus business. But the next day it got harder. Nathan had managed to sneak a peek at his day planner and found out Charles was meeting his doctor tomorrow. This was great, maybe the doctor would have some hint as to Charles' secret.

Nathan threatened one of his personal Klokateers into waking him up before Ofdensen, which was no easy feat. But you don't get to be the personal Klokateer to Lord Explosion without being good at your job so Nathan managed to beat Charles. He left word for the rest of his band mates that he was 'doing shit and not to bug him'. Nathan had found out ahead of time that Charles would be taking one of the smaller private helicopters to visit his doctor. Nathan tucked himself away in an unused storage space and awaited take off. You would think with all the money they had this doctor would makes house calls, but every time, Charles went to him. You would think the doctor Charles went to would be world renowned but no one had ever even heard of the guy. Nathan had googled him last night but all he'd found was some dude who invented an artificial organ in the 1930's. Maybe this was like his grandson and Charles had an artificial heart or something.

Try as he might to stay awake, cooped up in the cargo bay, Nathan fell asleep before they even took off. Luckily he was woken up by the jolt of landing. He peeked his head out the cargo hatch and saw that they were in a remote clearing on a mountain. Nathan could see why this doctor didn't come visit them at Mordhaus, he couldn't get off this damn mountain without a helicopter. There was only one house in the clearing, an oversize Germanic structure that looked like it could withstand avalanches and Toki's yodeling. Nathan did his best to be invisible as Charles stepped out of the helicopter.

Charles dusted off his suit, instructed the Klokateers to wait in the helicopter and scanned the area. Out of the lone house walked a vaguely Indian man in an old lab coat. He greeted Charles by his first name. Then to Nathan's horror the strange man held out his arms and Ofdensen …hugged him.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Of course Ofdensen didn't have a secret wife. He had a secret boyfriend and a doctor no less. How could Nathan have been so dumb? Why hadn't anyone told him before he'd gone and put his foot in it by kissing him?

As Ofdensen and the doctor walked by his hiding place he overheard a bit of their conversation.

"You look tired." said the slimy, sleazy doctor.

"I've been feeling a bit, rundown."

"Let's get you into my lair and have a look see."

You heard the man. He called it a lair. He probably drowned kittens in there in his spare time. The man was a jack-off, what did Charles see in him?

Nathan waited a few moments after they had entered the house to follow them. Just because Charles was cheating on him with some dildo doctor didn't mean Nathan had given up his quest of following him.

Doing his best to be sneaky, he followed them inside. His best wasn't really very subtle, what with him humming mission impossible music, but there was no one to notice him anyway.

Entering the foyer Nathan stopped dead in his tracks. Charles and the doctor were nowhere to be seen but one whole wall was taken up by a fish tank. The tank was filled with colorful schools of fish, all swimming in prefect sync. There were bright corals, colorful anemones and holy shit was that a shark? Nathan couldn't believe that such a tropical tank could exist in such a cold desolate place. It was July and there were still patches of snow outside.

Nathan carefully checked the first door he came to and listened for sounds. Nothing. He turned the handle as quietly as he could. He had to clamp a hand over his mouth to keep from crying out. As fantastical as the fish tank had been, this room was horrifying. The room was full of kitty body parts. On the wall hung detach kitty tails. In the corner a box of kitty ears. Nathan turned away and tried not to puke. That was when he noticed the lifeless kitty carcass. Only instead of guts spilling out from the corpse he saw gears. He looked more closely around the room. There wasn't a drop of kitty blood to be found. Nathan petted one of the fluffy detached tails on the wall. That wasn't even real cat fur.

-meanwhile, elsewhere-

"Well, it looks like all your gears are in working order," Dr. Wickram said closing Charles up. "Why don't you tell me what's bothering you?"

Charles sat up and redressed himself as he spoke. "Nothing is wrong." it sounded weak, even to his own ears.

"Charlie," started Dr. Wickram kindly, I've known you since you were yea high," he motioned to about chest height. "I can tell when you are upset."

Charles grumbled to himself as he recalled the time he spent as a child. Dr. Ofdensen had had first built him as a boy of about seven years old and periodically upgraded parts to mimic growth.

"To be fair I was nearly fifty by the time we met."

"Yes, but you still looked like a teenager."

Dr. Ofdensen had been slow to upgrade those parts.

"Anyway, why don't you tell your good friend Dr. Wickram all about it?"

Charles couldn't help himself. When Dr. Wickram sat down next to him and asked him to spill he did.

"Nathan, uh, kissed me."

"Oh Charlie, that's wonderful!" Dr. Wickram had always been a romantic at heart and had been hoping there would be a happily ever after in store for Charles yet. "Nathan's the big lead singer, right?" Charles nodded. He'd gifted Dr. Wickram all of Dethklok's albums but the man still preferred his Victrola. "He's very handsome in a ruggedly primitive sort of way." Charles looked embarrassed and nodded absentmindedly. "Well, I wish you two the best of luck, and many happy returns." Dr. Wickram moved to give Charles a congratulatory pat on the back but Charles stopped him.

"I refused him." Charles said somberly.

Dr. Wickram looked shocked. "It took a hundred and twenty three years to find someone who wanted to kiss you, why would you turn him away?"

"That's just it, he doesn't really know me so how can he want to kiss me. He thinks I'm human."

That's it. Dr. Wickram was getting pretty sick of the self pity. He stood up and grabbed Charles by the shoulders. "Now listen here, you are too human, just an inorganic human. You should tell this Nathan of yours, I'm sure it won't make any difference to him." Charles nodded his head, finally starting to see the truth of those words. After all if he felt human, acted human who's to say he wasn't human just because he had gears instead of meat. "After all, it's not your human-ness that attracted him. It's probably your fine butt!" Charles looked aghast. "What? I spent three months sculpting that work of art, it about time someone appreciated it!"

They both laughed after am awkward silence and prepared to leave. Before Charles returned to Mordhaus he'd promised to check out Dr. Wickram's latest invention and they headed toward the work room.

Back in the work room Nathan wondered around trying to figure out what kind of a sick son of a bitch decorated with fake pieces of dead cat. As Charles' employer he was going to have to insist that Charles stop seeing this guy. You never know when crazy might be catching. Suddenly, Nathan heard voices from the hallway. They sounded like they were coming toward him. He scrambled to find a hiding place. Was that a storage closet? Yes! Nathan closed the door behind him in the nick of time.

Charles and Dr. Wickram entered the room chatting amicably about his newest creation. Nathan listened closely at the door but couldn't make anything out until he heard a kitten mew. Holy shit that butcher had a really live cat out there. Through the wall Nathan could hear a distressed kitten like squeak. Was he butchering a cat with Charles present? Nathan didn't think Charles would just sit by while someone tortured a cat, but then again he didn't think Charles would have a secret male lover hidden on a mountain either. Making a split second decision Nathan decided to risk exposure to save the kitten. Bursting through the door he was prepared for all manner of unholy kitty torture. He stopped mid-obscenity as instead of a recently disemboweled cat he found his manager cuddling the world's tiniest most adorable Siamese kitten. With only a few seconds of exposure Nathan could already feel his brain melting out his ear from the cute. Brutal.

During the vital few second where in Nathan's brain was melting, Charles was piecing together the situation.

"Nathan? You followed me?" Charles was outraged. Dr. Wickram took a more appraising look at the intruder. Nathan looked confused. The kitten just looked miffed that something had taken the attention away from him. He scratched at Charles expensive suit to bring the focus back to petting. Charles nearly dropped it in surprise. Nathan's brain stopped melting and he took the kitten from Charles. Finally receiving the attention he so rightly deserved the kitty purred contentedly.

Dr. Wickram looked at the two men and could see where he might be in the way. "I'm just going to go check on the tea." he hadn't made any tea and he wanted to go make sure it hadn't started boiling on its own while he wasn't looking. As he left he shot a parting glance at Charles that clearly said 'tell him!'

For a moment there was silence as Nathan scratched the little fur ball behind the ear. Charles was terrified. Nathan spoke first.

"Your boyfriend is a real freak decorating with robo cat parts."

Charles swallowed a knot of fear at the word robo. Concentrating on the topic at hand, he explained. "He's not my boyfriend, he's just an old family friend."

This put Nathan's mind a little bit more at ease. "He's still a freak keeping a real kitty in here with all these cat parts."

Charles realized then that Nathan still hadn't figured it out. "Nathan, that's not a real cat."

Nathan dangled a few fingers at the kitten in his arms. It pounced on them and tried to bite him. It certainly acted like a real cat. "I don't understand?"

Charles sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "That's a robocat. Dr. Wickram makes robots."

Nathan looked down at the adorable little bundle of fur in his arms. It certainly looked like a real cat, but at least now this room full of horrors made a bit more sense. Charles waited for him to ask the obvious next question. He didn't.

Charles continued. "Aren't you wondering why I see a doctor who works on robots?"

Nathan shrugged. "Toki makes model air planes. Everyone has hobbies."

Charles realized he was going to have to spell this out. "Nathan, the reason I see a robot doctor is-"

The kitten chose that moment to decide it had had enough of being petted and it wanted to be left alone now. It yowled, jumped down and ran up a bookcase.

"Are you sure that's not a real cat?" Nathan asked. "It acts exactly like Mr. Scrambles."

Charles couldn't believe he had gotten interrupted during his big reveal by a damn cat. "Nathan-" he tried again.

Nathan interrupted. "So if Dr. Roboto is not your boyfriend then what's the big secret reason we can't do shit. You know, together?"

Charles felt a head ache coming on. "Nathan that's what I'm trying to explain if you would just let me-"

Right about then the cat, who had found a nice sunny spot on a bookshelf, miscalculated a foot step and fell to the floor. Being a cat, even a robotic one, it landed on all four feet. Unfortunately, Nathan had leaped to its rescue and banged his head pretty badly on the bookcase.

Charles ran after him, checking to see if he was okay. He gathered up the dazed rock star and checked his pupils. "Nathan, are you okay? Speak to me!"

As the haze of confusion faded Nathan smirked and pulled a shocked Charles down for a kiss. The shock faded and Nathan broke the kiss. He nuzzled into Charles' check. "I knew you cared."

Charles tried to protest but Nathan silenced him with another kiss.

Around that time Dr. Wickram decided it was about time he checked in on them. Peering through the door he assumed the best from their seemingly tender embrace. He burst into the room cheering. "Congratulations you two! See Charles, I told you he wouldn't mind once you told him."

No longer kissing Charles, Nathan pondered that comment. "Told me what?"

Charles was ready to scream. "I was trying to tell him but thing keep inter-"

Nathan interrupted Charles, "Tell me what?"

That's it. Charles was done. Enough trying to break this gently. "I'm a robot!" Charles turned to look at Dr. Wickram still standing in the doorway. "Happy? I told him. Now he knows!"

Nathan looked confused. "What?"

Charles just did not have the patience for this. "I see a robot doctor instead of a human doctor because I'm a robot!"

Dr. Wickram chimed in unhelpfully from the door. "Technically you are an alchemical- mechanical human, not a robot."

Nathan looked even more confused and Charles breathed fire in Dr. Wickram's direction.

Charles sighed and began to unbutton his shirt. It was always easier to show Nathan rather than explain in words.

Nathan held up his hands in panic. "Not that I haven't done kinky shit, but I don't want some dude watching our first time."

It took Charles a second to decipher that. "No- Nathan don't be ridiculous!" He felt around his side for the hidden switch which popped open his chest plate. The plate broke away to reveal the inner whirling of Charles' gears.

Nathan was amazed. He starred in fascination at the living clockwork. He reached out to gently touch one of the larger gears. Charles shuddered. Dr. Wickram took this as his cue to exit and shut the door.

"You can feel this?" Nathan asked as he continued to stroke the gear.

Charles shuttered again. "Yes-" his breath caught for a second but he continued on. "I guess I never realized how sensitive they were."

Nathan grinned. "You're so metal, you're made of metal. That's pretty damn metal."

Charles was so relieved that he could almost feel himself shake. "So, you ah, don't mind that I'm not human?"

Nathan pulled Charles as close as he dared, without risking catching something in his still exposed moving gears. "Like that dude said, you're human, you're just a very metal human."

They would have kissed but they both had a simultaneous premonition of Nathan's hair getting caught in Charles' clockwork. Charles stepped back and reattached his chest plate.

Nathan pulled him back, arms around his waist. "So now that I know your secret, any more objections?"

Charles shook his head and leaned up for another kiss.


	3. Chapter 3

On the way back to Mordhaus Nathan rode in the passenger compartment with Charles. The Klokateers didn't seem to be in the least bit surprised at Lord Explosion's sudden appearance somewhere where he shouldn't have been, but after working for Dethklok, they'd seen weirder. Dr. Wickram had gifted them robokitty and Nathan had immediately named him Satan. Satan seemed to find his new surroundings absolutely fascinating and he ran off to explore. Charles and Nathan sat down to talk and Nathan learned about Charles past.

"So this dude made you to replace his dead son?"

"Not exactly," clarified Charles. "He made me to be more like a life size doll as a gift for his son until his son died. Then he used all the magic he knew to make me actually alive."

"So he used you to replace his dead son?"

Charles hated thinking of himself like that, but it was mostly true.

Nathan thought of something else. "So, how old are you?"

This was another sticky subject. "A hundred and twenty three."

"Damn," Nathan commented. "I knew you were older but damn."

Charles continued with his story. "After my father died I wasn't really dealing with it and that's when I meet you boys. Alcohol damaged my circuitry and I was trying to drink myself into an early grave when I first heard Dethklok play. It's like you knew what I was feeling. I was drunk, so I don't remember exactly how I did it but next thing I knew I was Dethklok's manager."

Nathan had been pretty drunk that first night but he remembered a bit more. "Skwisgaar pointed you out. He thought you were from the record company." that's when it hit Nathan. "Did you just say you've always liked my music?"

Charles raised an eyebrow. Really, that's what he got out of his heartfelt confession? "Yes, it's hardly a surprise. I've been listening you play for years. I've killed people so Dethklok can make more music. I own every CD and I've been to every concert."

"Yah, but I just thought that's 'cause you're a good manager." This was even bigger news than finding out Charles was a robot. "Oh My God, you're a fan!"

Nathan leaned over to kiss Charles. Charles thought of one more thing he should tell Nathan.

"I should probably also tell you that you are the first person to have ever kissed me."

Really? "In a hundred and twenty three years, you're telling me that you never even kissed some one?"

Charles shook his head. "It never really seemed important until now."

That was insanely sweet.

Nathan pulled Charles on top of him so that he was straddling Nathan, one leg on either side. Nathan kissed him and pulled at Charles' shirt. He slipped a hand underneath. He felt along the smooth chest for any signs that Charles wasn't human. He felt human enough. The skin was warm and elastic, like a human's. He tried tickling Charles' sides. Charles made a very human sounding squeal and then gave Nathan a firm look that said 'do not do that again'. Running his hand higher up, he found nipples. He gave one an experimental pinch. Charles gasped and buried his head in Nathan's neck. Charles was looking more and more human ever minute.

For his part, Charles didn't quite know what to do. What Nathan was doing felt good and like nothing he'd ever felt before. He wrapped his arms around Nathan's neck and held on. He felt like maybe he should be doing something in return but he could think of what that might be.

Now that Nathan was certain that Charles felt human he just had to know if he tasted human. Too impatient to deal with buttons on a good day, Nathan grabbed hold of the shirt with both hands ripped it off. Nathan got his first good look Charles' chest. He couldn't see any signs of the hidden panels. It just looked like flawless skin over tight muscles. Whoever designed him had been an artist. Nathan grabbed what was left of Charles' shirt and threw it behind the sofa. Noticing the sofa for the first time gave Nathan an idea.

He picked Charles up bridal style and dropped him gently on to the sofa. Yes, that was better. With Charles laid out beneath him, Nathan got another chance to appreciate the view. This time he fixated on his bellybutton. It was a perfectly formed innie. He leaned his head down and gave it a lick. It didn't taste exactly human, but it was close enough. Nathan gave it another lick, this time in the opposite direction. Charles gave another little cry and tried to hide his face with his hands.

Nathan grinned and gave Charles a long lick from belly button to nipple. He was all set to fully explore the nipple with his mouth when he realized that Charles had gone very silent and very still.

"What's wrong?" he asked, fearing that Charles might have really blown a circuit.

"This has never happened before." Charles looked terrified. Nathan didn't know quite what he was referring to until he shifted a little and brushed against something hard in Charles' pants. Oh. Oh.

"Don't you know anything about sex?" Nathan had gotten that part where he was a virgin but figured he had at least, self served?

"Only what I learned from a careful study of Grey's Anatomy." replied Charles still looking freaked out.

"The TV show?" Nathan didn't see how chick porn had anything to do with the topic at hand.

"No, the medical reference book." The familiarity of correcting Nathan seemed to relax Charles and he no longer looked ready to crawl out of his own skin.

"You learnt about sex from a book?" that was even weirder than learning from a TV show. Nathan could remember many a late night as kid spent surfing the higher number channels for even a hint of nudity.

"Yes."

Charles was that special kind of stupid most people called smart.

Nathan didn't think he knew what to do with a virgin. Most groupies were seasoned sluts, so it hadn't been an issue. Skwisgaar would probably have some good advice right about now but he didn't really want to stop and ask him.

Nathan backed off while he tried to decide what to do. "I guess we could wait." he said reluctantly.

Charles looked panicked again. He reached up for Nathan and pulled him back down. "No!" he shouted. Then in a quieter, calmer voice he said, "Keep going, it was good, just..." Charles trailed off as he looked for the right word. "...different."

Nathan was relieved. He'd been prepared to stop, but he hadn't really wanted to. He went back to mouthing Charles' nipple and Charles went back to crying out with pleasure. This time the cries were a little more confidant and a little less fearful.

Thing were good until Nathan started to remove Charles' pants. Charles looked up from the throes of ecstasy, the panic back in his eyes.

"I should warn you I uh, never actually tried these parts out. I'm not sure if they uh, work."

Nathan finished pulling off Charles' pants and looked down. Everything seemed pretty normal. There was no sheen of sweat or drops of precum but other than that everything looked fine. Not that Nathan had spent a lot of time look at other guy's bits.

Nathan had never actually given a blow job before but he had been on the receiving end enough to have a good idea of what to do. He blew on the head experimentally and it twitched.

"Good news," he called up to Charles who was currently moaning and hiding his face behind his hands. "Everything seems to work!"

Charles groaned and mumbled something that sounded like get on with it.

So Nathan did. It only took a few bobs of his head before Charles was crying out and coming. This was good as it turned out giving a blow job is almost nothing like receiving one. Charles shuttered and climaxed and went limp all without spilling a drop of anything. This was another unexpected plus as Nathan had not been looking forward to finding out what semen tasted like. None of his ex-girlfriends had ever given him a satisfactory answer.

When Charles stopped panting he curled up into Nathan, closing his eyes. Nathan held him close until Charles jerked awake quite suddenly.

"Oh, but what about you? Should I.. ?" Charles trailed off unsure as to what his next move should be.

Nathan undid his pants and guided Charles hand in. Charles seemed to have an idea what to do because he grabbed Nathan in a way that didn't feel at all inexperienced. He stroked up and down a few times. It didn't take much for Nathan either, but he'd been ready since he pulled Charles into his lap. Charles pulled out his hand, now sticky with semen. He gave it an experimental lick.

Nathan just had to know. "So what's it taste like?"

Charles licked his lips and considered the question. "No idea. I killed most of my taste buds in my first drinking binge. I was just checking to see if I could digest it."

Charles found the remains of his dress shirt and wiped his hand off. He then found his pants and put them back on. They both curled up on the couch together ready to sleep until they reached Mordhaus. Just then Satan came out from whatever corner he had been exploring and jump up on to the sofa to wedge himself between them and purred.


	4. Chapter 4

"We's coulds be calling him Mr. Kittyface?" Toki was kneeling on the floor, face level with Satan who was taking practice pounces at stray bits of his hair.

Murderface was sitting on sofa trying to regard the kitten with disdain. He was failing, though. The smile kept poking through and it was hard to be angry when you were watching a kitten. "We could call him Mr. Murder Kittyface? That's a pretty bad ass name."

Skwisgaar was hanging over the back of the sofa watching Toki play with the new kitty. "We ams not namekings him afters yous." Skwisgaar reached a hand down and picked the little cat up so he could get a good look at him. "We ams nameking him Freya. Ams good Vikings names."

Toki grabbed the kitten back from Skwisgaar and put him down on the sofa. "Freya ams girls name. Kitty ams boy."

Skwisgaar scoffed. Pickles reached out to pet the kitten on the head and was surprised when the cat turn to look at him with marked intelligence in his blue kitty eyes. It reminded him of a cat in a book his mother used to read.

"We should call him Koko."

Nathan, who had been standing back and watching those slobs paw all over his kitten, roared. "We are not calling him Koko! He has a name, its Satan! End of story."

Toki pouted and Murderface argued that it was unfair to name his cat without him present. Soon they were all arguing over whose cat it was and what his name might be.

Charles walked in then. He ignored the shouting match going on because, frankly, it would have been weirder if they were getting along. He picked up Satan, who had wondered away from the group. Out of his pocket he pulled a spiky black letter collar and affixed it to Satan's neck. Hanging from the collar was a small pendant in the shape of Facebones with the following engraving:

Satan, Dethklok's kitty

If found, please return to Mordhaus

Keep away from magnets.

Satan seemed to like the new accessory and he purred appreciatively into Charles' arms. The fighting stopped as they all turned to look.

Charles didn't notices as he continued to scratch the cat behind the ears and gave into the urge to coo in baby talk. The two of them had formed a bond over being inorganic beings. It is a well known fact that as proximity to cats increases so does inanity of statements.

Murderface, who had forgotten he was pissed about them not naming the cat after him, felt something go squish in his skull. "Hey guy, I think my brain is melting."

None of the others could comment, they were suffering similar effects. Nathan was glad it wasn't just him.


End file.
